|  hmm.. this is great. well actually not. i'm just here sitting in this "room" doing nothing but myspace or whatever. i dunno. ahah maybe ur reading this and saying "get a life!" YA.. i guess i really "need" a life. oh well. like someone would care if i did "get" or "have" a life. once i got here. to this place they call america. everything in my life changed. its hard to be like this. i dont like it. the feeling of being lost, ignored, dissapproved, confused, pain, regrets, being alone, without REAL friends. i'm just living in a world full of lie. sometimes i wonder why can't i just go back?.. why do i have to suffer like this?.. i thought when i get here my life would be better. don't think so. when got here and went to a school. i speak, act, and think like a robot. i don't belong here. i don't trus anyone.. i can't. here no one cares about me.. no one even bothers to look at me.. here i'm not important, here i'm nothing but a piece of flesh people would glance at and  forget tomorrow. i was shy..i never talked.. everynight i would cry because i know i can't survive here.. i don't have friends.. i just wanna go back..please. at times i wouldn't eat with my parents because. i feel like i can't show my face to anyone. because i don't have friends.. i eat at school alone.. coming to school was like coming to a jail.. everyone glares at you like you murdered somebody. its like a living hell. days..weeks..and months have passed. i finally had the guts and knowledge to know that this isn't the time to weep, feel sorry for myself, and be a nobody. I've been used to a school where people knows me.. i eat lunch with a group of people.. and i just hated the feeling that here, now, i'm invisible. a year of putting up with things like that. made me strong and confident.. i learned alot of things and opened my eyes to reality.. i realized that if i wanna be a somebody i should work my way through it. and i did.. i started gaining friends.. started to know people.. hanging out someplace i dunno where. its beginning to sound like its fun. although until now.. even if i have friends.. and have a new life.. totally different from before.. i still feel that somethings missing.. and i know i can't finde it here.. but i will after 4 years...... |
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ahahaha... that's pretty funny but i need an iPod so ya. jasmine told me that iPod NANO is not cool.. the other one is.. with the video and stuff so i still have to choose which one of those imma be gettin.. mmk?.k
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| HELLO'Z
 WOW!! ahahha omg yesterday was so cool..me and my mom went to the popular "APPLE STORE" well not really because not every know it..and we went on the computers and stuff.. and i went on myspace.. ofcourse and my mom went on yahoo.. to check her mails.. then i saw iPod NANO!! i was like.. ugh i wanna buy one of those.. so i told my mom.. she said that she can buy me but she can't promise.. but i want it so bad.. so we had a deal that she's just gonna give me 10 bucks every week and then i'll save it then when i saved enough money.. i could buy one. yay!!! moving on.. i'm chatting with jasmine  right now.. :] i really miss her.. i hope she's here in california.. or i'm there in canada.. *sigh* and i wanna go to the philippines..yesterdays chat with my friends made me miss them more.. oh well.. i'll see them again one day.  ..hehe umm what else?.. that's all that's been happening lately i think?.. nuthing very interesting.. and oh yea.. i just got this new layout.. its really cute :) well i think thats all.. i have nuthin to say.. i said everything i could think of.. my brain hurts.. ahaha.. ya ok bye<3 |
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